This week’s ritual is intended to enhance spiritual well-being (DeFrain & Stinnett, 2008). Spiritual well-being as defined by DeFrain and Stinnett is not limited to participation in religious activities, though such participation may be important to some families. As one of the six characteristics of strong families, spiritual well-beinghas a much broader definition than you might think. It includes family membersseeing their home as a sanctuary, feeling a sense of belonging, having a hopeful attitude toward life, learning about family history, feeling connected with nature and the world around them, and believing love is a powerful force that keeps themtogether. Other qualities of spiritual well-being include finding it is easy to share spiritual values and beliefs with each other and compatible personal religious beliefs.Because the definition of spiritual well-being is so inclusive, a family can develop strong spiritual well-being without being religious in any way.
This week’s ritual is specifically intended to help family members 1) view their home as a sanctuary and 2) gain a strong sense of belonging within their family. It involves taking or finding photos of meaningful spaces within their homes and sharing those photos with family members. For this ritual, you do not all have to get together in person, though you could, of course, to share your photos.
Think of the home where you grew up. Was there a space in that home that was particularly meaningful for you? Or maybe a place in your childhood home that everyone always gathered? Try to find a picture of that space. If you don’t have a photo, try to take a photo of that space now. This is a way to share memories of your childhood home. If your parents live there now, you might think about whether or not you still feel a sense of belonging or sanctuary there.
Alternatively, you might take or find a photo of a space in your current home.Think of a space in your current home that is meaningful to you, maybe a space you would like to introduce to your family members, even if they can’t visit in person.
Once you have taken or found a photo of a space you want to share with your family members, post it on a photo site or Facebook or send it by email and ask your family members to take a look. Make sure you ask your family members to post their own photos of spaces from their childhood or current homes that are meaningful to them.
If you or your family members want to share a space with each other, but can't find a photo of that space and don't have access to it to take a photo, consider writing a short descriptive paragraph about how that space is/was meaningful, how it provides/provided a sense of belonging in the family or makes/made your home feel like a sanctuary. Be sure to post or send the short descriptive paragraph to share with your family members.
If you or your family members need help getting started, here are some prompts you can use to help you share your favorite spaces:
Prompts for your childhood/family home:
I've always loved this space because…
This space captures who my family is best because…
When I think about this space, I feel…
This space means a lot to me because…
Our home felt like a sanctuary to me because in this space, I could…
This space always gave me a sense of belonging in my family because…
There is nothing like staying at home with my family; in this space, I could...
A lot of memories started here because...
This space will always hold a special place in my heart because...
Prompts for your current home:
This is my favorite space in my home because…
When my parents/family members visit me, I hope we can spend time here because…
This space reminds me of my childhood home because…
When I think about this space, I feel…
This space means a lot to me because….
My home feels like a sanctuary to me because in this space, I can….
I am proud I have my own place because...
Every morning I open my eyes, look around my place and feel full of energybecause...
Every night I close my eyes, I feel safe and peaceful in my home because…
If you’re like me, you may have moved many times in the last several years. That’s the case for many emerging adults. Maybe you have been in your own home for just few months or maybe you’ve been there for quite awhile. Maybe you live at home with your families of origin. Or maybe you live several states away from your nearest family member. Whatever your situation, you can make the spaces around you welcoming to your family and share those spaces with your family members. And whether you’re redecorating an old room or moving into a new home, as you create new spaces, you can repeat this ritual by taking new pictures and sharing them with your family members.
After you and your family members exchange photos, don’t forget to come back and share your experience here! Tell us who you invited to participate and why and how the photo sharing went. What spaces did you and your family members share with each other? Which qualities of spiritual well-being were present as you and your family shared your photos? What surprised you the most about the spaces your family members shared? What were the most meaningful memories you shared with each other? What is one photo of a meaningful space you can share here? Do you think you will share other family photos again soon? What other themes might you encourage your family to explore with photos to enhance spiritual well-being?
Hi, your ideas are interesting. I am far away from my family for a long time and your first part allows me to recall my memory of my old home. I do miss my family. But more important thing is that I also enjoy my current environment. Just want to be positive no matter where I am and who I am. Looking for more from you. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteHope you enjoy it . I knew your mom will come to visit you soon:) Hope we can meet up in some where soon!
DeleteIt seems to be an interesting work. I'm not sure whether you considered to build a mobile app to strengthen family's connection anywhere. It might be more funny. Just a suggestion. :p
ReplyDeleteThe idea of enhancing family connections is really meaningful, since a lot of people have been far away from home, from their loved ones in their family, for perusing reputation, success, or wealth. This is probably a difficult process for them to get adapted to. You really have done an exceptional job !
ReplyDeleteThank you my firned
DeleteIt is really a meaningful topic, family is the first thing we met when we were borned, and it partially decides our characteristics and development in the future. Personally,I have been away from home for four years, so I am always missing my family members and the places we got together previously, which really make me warm and thankful. Your ideas can be helpful to make us still close to each other whether we are together,that is cool.:)
ReplyDeleteThe most meaning full area of my home is our living room. My house is usually the center of most of our major family gatherings such as Christmas, birthdays, and even cookouts. The living room is the one room in our house where we all see each other at once during these times. So many good laughs and memories have been shared here and always look forward to sitting down together and catching up when I come home from college. I did not get to come home recently to share photos with my family, but I did ask them what their most meaningful room in the house was and they shared my answer. We all lead busy lives, but we share that space together to stress down, create jokes, and catch up when we've spent time away from each other whenever we get the chance.
ReplyDeleteYou did a great job! hope you enjoy this ritual!
DeleteMy family is very religious and very close, although now that my sisters and I are all getting older, we don't all live at home therefore it causes space in our family. The other night, our family was all home for dinner and I brought up this ritual and brought down the tub of family pictures that we collect and opened up and it was so nice and see how my family reminisced on old times and good memories. Especially the pictures of the loved ones we have lost in my family, like my grandparents. It was comforting talking about knowing they're in a better place now, although we do miss them and the pictures reminded us of how close we were with them. I loved seeing pictures from before I was born. Being the youngest sibling, I heard some crazy stories about my family that I never even knew about! Rituals like this can make a family closer and make families talk in ways they haven't in a while. Thank you for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteRebecca Landin
U waked my memory about my family party. My father likes to talk about our family history in every family party. He made us so proud to be descendants of "Yang Jia Jiang", LOL
ReplyDeleteU also made me in deep thinking about the distance between child and parents. So look forward to start my vacation in this Sept. I can stay at home for one month!!!!!
by Irene
Wow, Hope you enjoy your vocation! Hey Irene, you could call your father and talk about this ritual, long disdtance will not be a problem!
DeleteMy family's place was my loft on the top floor
ReplyDeleteI've always loved this space because we always put our most comfortable furniture there and it was just the place to wind down after a long day
This space captures who my family is best because after our days we sit together and watch TV when we have time
When I think about this space, I feel the sense of comfortableness in the way that my family would share our days
This space means a lot to me because we would watch our favorite recorded shows or a baseball game and it was a time of learning for me and fun. This is when TV started becoming more and more years ago when you had to watch your favorite shows at a certain time because you could only put 4-7 hours on a VCR tape. On Saturdays it was the time of the day where it was TV time
Our home felt like a sanctuary to me because in this space, I could be myself and unwind my day and just RELAX
This space always gave me a sense of belonging in my family because we spent our time there at all times unless we had something to do
There is nothing like staying at home with my family; in this space, I could catch up on our shows which is family time
A lot of memories started here because I was very young when we moved to this house and I remember one thing about moving in; that was where the TV was while my family was moving in
This space will always hold a special place in my heart because it was our family time before my brothers and I grew up to where my brothers all needed their own room
I am very enjoy to read your story! Some space will always hold a special place in your heart!
DeleteI am proud of my own place because... It is my first apartment and I have done a lot to make it "home". Like the author of this blog, I've done a lot of moving around the past couple of years. After my parent's got divorced, it was like my family home didn't exist anymore. So my apartment is really important to me. My favorite room is my living room. Here, my roommates and I always spend the evening together doing homework together and talking with each other. The living room is where we hang out with out friends and make memories. I consider my roommates to be my family because they mean so much to me, and I love that we can all share stories while we sit in our living room.
ReplyDeleteI decided to use snapchat as a way for me and roommates to share our favorite places in the apartment. I snapped them a picture of the living room, and one roommate, S, sent me a picture of our living room too! The other, R, sent me a picture of the kitchen. Later, when we were all gathered in the living room, we talked about our favorite places. We decided it was living room because our favorite memory of the couch. We always fight over who gets to sit where and have "assigned seats". We get in playful arguments when someone takes the other seat, and it is a running joke for us. It's always nice to come home and sit in my chair and talk to my roommates. Even though I liked talking to my roommates about the living room, I don't think we'll do the picture thing again. Maybe I'll snap them a pic of family home when I go back to my hometown later this year, but we'll see. I would like to see their favorite places in their family homes!
I like to read your comment about your living room!
DeleteI decided to do this with my immediate family but also asked my grandparents to share with me as well. I wanted to extend this to my grandparents because they have lived in a lot more places then my parents and siblings have. For me, the kitchen at my grandparents house is my favorite room to be in. They have multiple family gatherings of over one hundred people every year. My grandpa came from a large family and in turn, I have had lots of great conversations with great aunts and uncles that know so much more than I do about life. For my parents, their favorite room is the kitchen at our own house. We have a sit-down meal almost every night. Therefore, the kitchen has, to them, become a place to share about everyone's day and they cherish that time that we have together. For my sister, her favorite room is the living room. She enjoys spending time with all of us whether it is playing games or watching TV, she just likes being together. My brother took a different approach and said that his favorite "room" is the outdoors. He loves to snowboard and he loves the peacefulness of the outdoors. Finally, my grandparents said that their favorite room was the living room in the first house that they bought after getting married. They spent time there raising their family and they look back on that room as the start of many new relationships with their kids. As a family though, we all agreed that while we love our homes, our favorite place to go is our church. Our faith is the most important aspect of all of our lives and our sanctuary really is the sanctuary at our church. It allows us to grow not only as a family but also to grow in Christ. We all enjoyed sharing old pictures with each other and we will certainly do it again sometime.
ReplyDeleteI like your comment. You remind me thinking about my Kitchen at home. That's was not just a kitchen, It's a place that all my family members can be together talk, laugh, eat! Definitely, it's a meaningful place.
DeleteThe most spiritual place for my me in my home is the back porch. Lately during the winter we obviously cannot go out there and spend time together, however our living room has large windows that allow you to easily see outside. The reason we choose to sit out on the porch together is that we live in a very rural area, and since we are on top of a hill you can see for miles. Sometimes we watch deer walk out from the woods, or even flocks of turkey out in the field. When I talk about my home, I am describing my home with my dad, which is where I stay when I am not away at college. This past time when I was home my Dad and I sat together and talked about how snowy it was up on our hill. I think that I enjoy the times when we can sit in silence and enjoy the nature. It's refreshing since I'm usually cooped up in a tiny apartment.
ReplyDeleteI like your story, Interesting!
Deletefound your post to be very interesting. I've always been kind of a loner and a "home-body" so I've always considered my home to be my sanctuary. No matter what's going on in my life or how streeed I am, my home has always been a place of peace and happiness for me. whenever i'm having a rough day all I want to do is go home, talk to my mom and then go to my room. My mother often asks me what the heck I even do in my room for hours at a time and truthfully up until this week I never had a reply for her. After reading your post I decided to write down some descriptive words that describ how I feel when I'm off in my own world in my room. The list of words included: safe, warm, connected with family, calm, peaceful, and inspired. I was suprised to hear her say she agreeed. she admitted to feeling the most calm and happy when shes safely at home. I was so surpised that sharing something so little could bring us together and help us feel a little more connected to each other. It's nice to know that we really have a lot in common and it's nice of course to not have her thinking I'm just wierd!
ReplyDeleteI like the descriptive words, safe, warm, connected with family, calm, peaceful, and inspired.
DeleteThe most spiritual room in my house is my family's living room. Because I live far from home, I communicated with my mom, dad, and two sisters through a group message on our iPhones. We all collectively agreed that the living room is our favorite room. When I asked them the following questions, these answers are what we came up with.
ReplyDelete1) I've always loved this space because: It is the room where we all gather and have family movie nights, celebrate holidays, and bond.
2) This space captures who my family is best because: It is vibrant and quirky, just like the members of our family.
3) When I think about this space, I feel: warm and sense of comfort
4) This space means a lot to me because for as long as I can remember we have celebrated birthdays, Christmas morning and many other important traditions in this room. It is always the room decorated for each holiday.
5) Our home felt like a sanctuary to me because in this space, I could relax and watch a movie, hang out with friends and family, and enjoy conversations with my family.
6) This space always gave me a sense of belonging in my family because it is a place that we can collectively sit together and share great memories, as well as make new memories.
7) There is nothing like staying at home with my family; in this space, I could lay down on the couch and take naps, watch family movies, and spend time with my family.
8) A lot of memories started here because it is the biggest room in my house and allows for all my family to sit around together and make memories, as well as reminisce on old ones. As long as I can remember, this is the room where the Christmas tree is put each year, and where we open presents on Christmas morning.
9) This space will always hold a special place in my heart because I have lived there for fourteen years and so many of my childhood memories take place in this house. I always feel worry free when I'm at home, and this is where I am most comfortable.
I love your comment! I enjoy to read all of these!
DeleteI found this post very interesting. Right now, I live on campus at Kent State and I often think about home and what it's like to be home. However, I never really thought about what room my family spends the most time in or which room acts as a binding factor for us. I asked around my immediate family and we came to a unanimous agreement- the kitchen and the porch is where our similar interests rise. I asked my brother, dad, stepmom, and stepbrother. The kitchen is the go-to place to catch up with each other during dinner. It may not be anything fancy, but bonding over a home cooked meal is where we are able to relax and connect with one another. And in the spring and summer, our back porch is the place to be. It is a very serene place that all of my family members enjoy. We'd BBQ and grill and enjoy nature's presence. Surprisingly, we all didn't share any pictures. I talked to everyone over the phone and it was easy to realize our sanctuary places at home. I spend so much time in those two places that I can literally smell the homemade sauce and pasta every Sunday and I can feel the breeze run through my hair while on the porch. Funny how your imagination can make you feel right at home. I've looked through old photos we all have on Facebook and there were always good memories being made on those place. Like Christmas dinner and birthday parties- those would take place in the kitchen and back porch. I think I will share more family photos with my family members because it made me feel like I was home even though I'm an hour away. It reminds me of all of the good things that have happened and nothing will ever compare to being home. To encourage spiritual well-being I think that it would be beneficial to look at photos of everyone throughout the years. It'd be nice to see how everyone grew up and all of the major events during my life. I'd also think it'd be a good idea to look at photos of deceased family members. It's a nice way to remember the good times and to think back to of all of the fun times we had with those people. This was a great ritual activity and I think that it made my family and I feel closer to each other. Thanks for sharing! (:
ReplyDeleteYou talked about "I've looked through old photos we all have on Facebook and there were always good memories being made on those place. " you make me review my Facebook album again and you know what , I find a lot of fun family meaningful space pictures and I find my memories too!!
DeleteWell, since I still live at home I just asked my family what their favorite room in the house was. Everyone immediately said their own bedrooms. They said that a bedroom is a place where you can go to escape and get lost in your own thoughts. My bedroom is decorated in purple, which is my favorite color. It just feels like it's MY space because I got to pick what I wanted in it, which to me is comforting. I am an introvert, so I like to have a lot of time to myself. My room is of course, the first place I go. The rest of my family agrees that their room is the place they go to for solace and comfort.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing and hope you enjoy the ritual:)
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