Weekend Wonder

      Hey guys!! I hope you have had a chance to share some photos with your family members. If you haven’t posted a photo of a favorite space to share with your family, try to make it happen and let me know how it goes. 

Focusing on home as part of spiritual well-being made me look for this video of "Home Sweet Home" by Motley Crue! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DasvuHUgUHg

      It’s an old song, but I love listening to it. Believe it or not, hearing it takes me back to my home  in China. :) To everyone traveling home this weekend to be with your families, have a safe and wonderful time away. And appreciate the time you have with your loved ones. Give thanks in all things, no matter how great or small. Enjoy!

Q&A Friday

Yay – it’s Valentine’s Day! :) Appropriately so, today’s question is about love, an important component of spiritual well-being, as defined by DeFrain and Stinnett (2008):

How has love as a powerful force kept your family together, especially during your emerging adulthood?

   For me, there’s nothing on earth more powerful than walking together in love. As an emerging adult, I feel I have a responsibility to keep my family safe and happy; thissense of responsibility comes from love. Even though I am far away from my family,I try to talk to my parents via Skype and FaceTime two or three times every week. I let them know I am safe and having a great life here. And when they came to visit me,I traveled across the state with my family because I wanted to spend time with them. I also cooked for them, talked to them, and hung out with them, all because of my love for them. I am happy when they are happy.  

   I also remember those times at home when we sat down and talked with each otherto discuss our challenges. We always let each other know we would stand by eachother and provide support. Our love for each other is unconditional. It is a gift toevery single one of my family members.

I believe love is the most powerful force in the universe. I hope you and your family can enjoy its benefits today and always. Happy Valentine's Day!

A Thousand Word Thursday

This is the living room of my boyfriend’s family. There are a lot of stories and interesting conversations started in here. After dinner, we all like to watch TV, talk, communicate, and have dessert here. To me, a home is like a story, and just like the best story, the best spaces in a home are filled with meaning and purpose. A good story grabs us and takes us somewhere interesting. I feel like this living room did the same for me as I got to know my boyfriend’s family.

A home can provide a sense of security and belonging that goes beyond four walls and a roof. We each have a story to tell and the spaces where we gather are part of those stories. I think our homes, like the best books, remind us of thepast and present and give us the space to ponder our future. I believe ourmemories of the past and our hopes for the future are recorded in the verybricks from which our homes are built.

Wisdom Wednesday

    I want to share two resources that might help you create meaningful spaces in your current homes. Creating Meaningful Spaces: 5 Elements to Include When Decorating Your Home and Creating a Meaningful Home: Blog Series will provide you withideas to make your space personal and simple. Also, they give you information about how and where you can find meaningful items to incorporate into your spaces. I like these two websites because they show you a lot of photos. The blogger opens up herown home in hopes to show others that a home should be a place you love and enjoy living, and a home should reflect who you are.

    As always, you can learn more by clicking the links I’ve provided and reading more. Enjoy!

Try-It Tuesday

      This week’s ritual is intended to enhance spiritual well-being (DeFrain & Stinnett, 2008). Spiritual well-being as defined by DeFrain and Stinnett is not limited to participation in religious activities, though such participation may be important to some families. As one of the six characteristics of strong families, spiritual well-beinghas a much broader definition than you might think. It includes family membersseeing their home as a sanctuary, feeling a sense of belonging, having a hopeful attitude toward life, learning about family history, feeling connected with nature and the world around them, and believing love is a powerful force that keeps themtogether. Other qualities of spiritual well-being include finding it is easy to share spiritual values and beliefs with each other and compatible personal religious beliefs.Because the definition of spiritual well-being is so inclusive, a family can develop strong spiritual well-being without being religious in any way.

     This week’s ritual is specifically intended to help family members 1) view their home as a sanctuary and 2) gain a strong sense of belonging within their family. It involves taking or finding photos of meaningful spaces within their homes and sharing those photos with family members. For this ritual, you do not all have to get together in person, though you could, of course, to share your photos.

     Think of the home where you grew up. Was there a space in that home that was particularly meaningful for you? Or maybe a place in your childhood home that everyone always gathered? Try to find a picture of that space. If you don’t have a photo, try to take a photo of that space now. This is a way to share memories of your childhood home. If your parents live there now, you might think about whether or not you still feel a sense of belonging or sanctuary there.

     Alternatively, you might take or find a photo of a space in your current home.Think of a space in your current home that is meaningful to you, maybe a space you would like to introduce to your family members, even if they can’t visit in person.

     Once you have taken or found a photo of a space you want to share with your family members, post it on a photo site or Facebook or send it by email and ask your family members to take a look. Make sure you ask your family members to post their own photos of spaces from their childhood or current homes that are meaningful to them.

     If you or your family members want to share a space with each other, but can't find a photo of that space and don't have access to it to take a photo, consider writing a short descriptive paragraph about how that space is/was meaningful, how it provides/provided a sense of belonging in the family or makes/made your home feel like a sanctuary. Be sure to post or send the short descriptive paragraph to share with your family members.

     If you or your family members need help getting started, here are some prompts you can use to help you share your favorite spaces:

Prompts for your childhood/family home:

I've always loved this space because…

This space captures who my family is best because…

When I think about this space, I feel…

This space means a lot to me because…

Our home felt like a sanctuary to me because in this space, I could…

This space always gave me a sense of belonging in my family because…

There is nothing like staying at home with my family; in this space, I could...

A lot of memories started here because...

This space will always hold a special place in my heart because...

Prompts for your current home:

This is my favorite space in my home because…

When my parents/family members visit me, I hope we can spend time here because…

This space reminds me of my childhood home because…

When I think about this space, I feel…

This space means a lot to me because….

My home feels like a sanctuary to me because in this space, I can….

I am proud I have my own place because...

Every morning I open my eyes, look around my place and feel full of energybecause...

Every night I close my eyes, I feel safe and peaceful in my home because…

     If you’re like me, you may have moved many times in the last several years. That’s the case for many emerging adults. Maybe you have been in your own home for just few months or maybe you’ve been there for quite awhile. Maybe you live at home with your families of origin. Or maybe you live several states away from your nearest family member. Whatever your situation, you can make the spaces around you welcoming to your family and share those spaces with your family members. And whether you’re redecorating an old room or moving into a new home, as you create new spaces, you can repeat this ritual by taking new pictures and sharing them with your family members.

     After you and your family members exchange photos, don’t forget to come back and share your experience here! Tell us who you invited to participate and why and how the photo sharing went. What spaces did you and your family members share with each other? Which qualities of spiritual well-being were present as you and your family shared your photos? What surprised you the most about the spaces your family members shared? What were the most meaningful memories you shared with each other? What is one photo of a meaningful space you can share here? Do you think you will share other family photos again soon? What other themes might you encourage your family to explore with photos to enhance spiritual well-being? 

Memorable Monday

Today I am going to share my own experience with family storytelling. My parents, my boyfriend and I had a good time together during which we practiced commitment. As we shared our family stories, we talked about being able to makeour own choices and state our own opinions. We allowed each other to be ourselves, and we found it easy to be honest with each other.

I started by asking my family members a question about who in the family has been the biggest influence on their livesand what lessons did those individuals teach them? My father started by telling me a lot of stories about how his father educated him when he was my age compared with how he educated me when I was growing up. We also talked about the cultural differences in parenting styles and the influences on young adults and middle-age adults. We shared a lot of great stories and memories.

My father said they were not allowed to go against their parents when he was a child. He had to do whatever his fathertold him to do. My grandfather grew up as the top student in his class. He believed my father had to study at least ten hours a day to become a professor and work at the university. My father told my grandfather he wanted to become a diplomat,but my grandfather did not allow my father to make his own choice. The most common parenting style in China might be described as authoritarian, especially from a Western perspective. Some Americans might perceive it as controlling or restrictive, and from my reading of the research literature, I have learned that children of authoritarian parents can have lower self-esteem, be less self-reliant, and have poorer social skills. On the other hand, these same children are highlyresponsible and have a strong sense of obligation to theirfamilies. My father certainly felt responsible for his family and as a result, became a professor as his father wanted.

I shared what I had learned about American parenting with my parents. My boyfriend and I told my father that manyAmerican parents strive to use an authoritative style which generally seeks mature behavior from their children, using a warmer manner that incorporates a give-and-take andexplanations for why rules should be followed, as well asrespect for children’s viewpoints. According to the research I’ve read, their children have higher self-esteem, are moreself-reliant, and have good social skills. My boyfriend shared a story about how his parents encouraged him to become a great person, not just a teacher or a doctor, because his parents trusted he could make his own decisions. I told my father that’s why I was glad he supported me to come here to studybecause he provided me with a great opportunity to see the world. He is the biggest influence on my life. During our time together, we shared a lot stories and opinions, but did not judge or criticize each other.

Family storytelling is important in my family! It has kept us close as a family. We respect the roles each of us plays in the family, and we also allow each other to have our own opinions and make our own choices. I hope you had a great time telling stories with your family! I know I did.