Weekend Wonder

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend so far! And I hope have had fun writing your Love Notes to family members and showing your appreciation and affection to them. If you haven’t written any Love Notes yet this week, please do so and let me know how it goes. 

In the meantime, here is a fun blog post about writing secret family love notes.

http://www.abundantmama.com/write-secret-family-love-notes/

It’s written by a mom who enjoys doing this sort of thing with her kids, but I think it could be fun for emerging adults too. When was the last time you picked up crayons and water color paints? Tell me what you think of the idea!

Q&A Friday

Today’s question: What is the most meaningful Love Note you ever wrote to or received from your family members so far?

    I remember very clearly how disappointed I was when I failed my job interviews in the US. I was a very confident person when I worked in China. But here, I am alone. I am far away from home. I began to doubt my abilities and my choices. Why did I come here? I had a great job and family in China. Why I was here? I felt lost. And I was not happy! 

    I called my father and told him I might go back to China next year, because I was getting tired of my life in the US. He did not say anything but listened while I complained. 

    The next day I received an e-mail from him. The email said: “I respect the choices you have made. I can understand why you were so emotional. And I stand by you. But I remember someone reading me a very great quote, and now I want to share it with you.

    ‘It usually is not what you have, where you are, or what you’ve been through that makes you happy or unhappy, it’s how you think about it all.’ It starts on the inside. You control your thoughts. The only person who can hurt your happiness in the long run is you.”

    I looked at his e-mail for a long time. I was moved. I started to think about my experiences, my happiness, my sadness, my successes, my failures, my smiles, and my tears. Actually, as an emerging adult, every thing I had experienced was a gift. I needed to learn to be grateful. My life had been and still is a wonderful journey. 

    My father is a typical Chinese father. He usually does not say too much, but he is a person with a big heart and has aways supported me unconditionally. I very much appreciate him. We still keep sending e-mails to each other that demonstrate our appreciation and affection, even though as a super traditional Chinese father, he is still a little shy to say “ I love you” to me directly.  And I’m okay with that. :) His words are still Love Notes to me.

A Thousand Words Thursday

This is a picture of a Love Note from my boyfriend’s mom, Diane. (She calls me Suzy!) Diane was so happy that I brought gifts from China for her. The Love Note she sent is a very pretty card, and I was so happy when I received it. I called her back and let her know how much I appreciate her taking care of me when I visit. I feel very close to Diane; she always makes me feel like home!

Wisdom Wednesday

Today, I want to share a resource that might help you facilitate the ritual of writing family Love Notes I described yesterday. 

Love Notes for Your Loved Ones provides you with a way to put down on paper all the things you love about your family members. These hand-drawn frames can guide you to think about the words you already have in your heart. You can learn more by visiting the website. 

I like this site and thought it was helpful because the sheet of frames inspires family members to consider their heart-felt intentions and to write meaningful messages to their loved ones. You can print out a sheet of frames and fill up each one with your own words. It’s a special way to collect your love!

Try-it Tuesday

This week’s ritual is intended to enhance appreciation and affection (DeFrain & Stinnett, 2008). Specifically, it is intended to help each family member 1) appreciate each other and let each other know this and 2) show affection to each other, two of the qualities of appreciation and affection. Other qualities of appreciation and affection focus on being kind to each other, hugging family members, being thoughtful of each other, keeping promises, and helping family members.

This week, the ritual I want you to try with your family is a making appreciation and affection notes. I’m calling them “Love Notes”. Few of us tell our loved ones often enough how much they mean to us. And sometimes we are too busy to show our affection to each other. It can be hard to find a way to express our affection for our family members. But Love Notes are a great way to show your family members your love and your appreciation and affection for them, whether they are sitting right next to you or live far away. Love Notes make family members feel loved and feel close to each other. They are meaningful messages that let our family members know how we feel about them. 

Love Notes can include short messages such as "I love you" or "You are great!" They can also be more specific statements of appreciation or affection. For example, “I am proud of you for working so hard at school.” or “Thank you for helping me prepare the food last night; you are great cook!” Daily reminders might also be included in your family Love Notes. “Don’t forget your coffee.” or “I put your sandwich in the refrigerator” are a couple of examples that demonstrate affection for a loved one. Putting a Love Note under your family member’s pillow, sticking it on the steering wheel in the car, hiding it inside a glove, or sneaking it into a purse gives your family members a surprise and the chance to read the Love Note in private. 

Obviously, some of you may not live at home with your parents or other family members. Love Notes can be sent by email or text. Even better—send a handwritten Love Note in a card by snail mail to your family. Surprise them with a statement of your appreciation and affection! 

Your Love Notes should be clear and easy to read. They can be fun or serious, but write from your heart. You may design your Love Note to make it even more special, even include it in a pretty box or decorated envelope. The content of the Love Note is up to you. You may write wo or three words, a sentence, a poem, or a letter. All are great! Spend some time thinking about how you want to express your appreciation and affection in a way that will be meaningful for you and the recipient of your Love Note. 

This week, tell three family members, including at least one parent if you are still in contact with a parent, one thing you remember about each of them that you appreciate. Before you write anything in each Love Note, think about who the person is and she or he does that you appreciate. Maybe something they did that really touched you or made you feel good. If you’re really stuck, these sentence completions might get you started: 

I've always appreciated that you are...

I love how you.... 

Your love notes also can refer to specific moments. For example:

I was grateful that night when you...

I do remember that moment you... 

You find even more suggestions for your Love Notes here:

Thank You Poems

Learn To Write The Best Love Notes Ever

On a Personal Note: Thank You

Love Notes and Love Lenses

     To help make your Love Notes a ritual, try to choose a day and time to write them on a regular basis. You might try writing your Love Notes on Wednesday after bed, or on Thursday morning during breakfast. On Friday, you can hide them for your family members or send them to your family members. However you decide to give Love Notes, the most important thing is to make it happen. 

 After sending your Love Notes to your three family members, don’t forget to come back here and share your thoughts about the experience! Tell us who you sent your Love Notes to and why. Share a little about what you wrote and what it was like for you. Did you send a card? Hide a note? Or email your message of appreciation and affection? What was the response? Do you think you’ll write other Love Notes again soon? Why or why not? 

I look forward to reading your opinions soon! 

Sources:

DeFrain, J., & Stinnett, N. (2008). Creating a strong family: American family strengths inventory. In NebGuide. Retrieved May 24, 2010, from http://www.ianrpubs.unl.edu/pages/publicationD.jsp?publicationId=1099

Devivo, K.(2013). Miki Devivo Photography. Love notes for your loved ones. Retrieved from http://mikidevivo.com/love-notes/

Devivo, K.(2013). Miki Devivo Photography. Love notes and love lenses. Retrieved from http://mikidevivo.com/love-notes-and-love-lenses/

Field , J.(2013). On a personal note: thank you. Retrieved from http://www.hallmark.com/thank-you/ideas/how-to-write-a-thank-you-note/

Kevin, J., Z.(2013). In Your Tango. Learn to write the best love notes ever. Retrieved from http://www.yourtango.com/experts/dr-kevin-zimmerman/love-notes-how-write-them-examples

Thank you poems for parents and family. (2014). In Family Friend Poems. Retrieved from http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/thank-you-poems.asp

Memorable Momday

This Monday, I’m sharing some photos of my family’s Thanksgiving dinner. This is a family tradition that has been going on for years at Uncle Murf and Aunt Judy’s home. My boyfriend’s mother is one of eight siblings, so there is always a large gathering of her side of the family spanning three generations during the Thanksgiving holiday. Usually every family brings a dish, and Uncle Murf and Aunt Judy cook the main dish. All the family tries to show up by noon, and then the Thanksgiving meal is sometime shortly after. Since there have been so many people gathering together over the years, there are typically two or three tables to seat all of the family. 

Ham or Turkey for Thanksgiving?

This year, we decided to have both! Turkey is often the traditional dish people think of when they think of Thanksgiving, while ham is more typical around the Christmas holiday. However, this year, it was decided we would have both. Other dishes included mashed potatoes, corn, corn casserole, beans with bacon, noodles, dinner rolls, and salad. There were also various snacks, like pretzels and crackers and cheese, to keep people’s appetite satisfied during the day. And then finally, Aunt Judy’s famous cheesecake for dessert! Once everyone had their fill, they brought in their dishes and helped clean up a bit. Afterwards, the family time begins with plenty of games and stories shared.

Before the meal, my boyfriend’s aunt, Aunt Judy, gathered the family around to explain the family’s Thanksgiving Blessing of the snacks the family always makes. Shaped like a cornucopia or Horn of Plenty, bugles are a symbol of our nation's abundance. Pretzels are arms folded in prayer, a freedom sought by those who founded our country. The candy corn symbolizes the sacrifices made during the Pilgrims' first winter. Food was so scarce that settlers survived on just a few kernels of corn a day. The nuts or seeds remind us of the promise of a future harvest, one we will reap only if seeds are planted and tended to with diligence. The dried fruits symbolize the harvest gifts of our bountiful land, and the M&Ms remind us of the many memories of those who came before us to guide us to this blessed future. For members of the family, it became a good way to reflect on the true meaning of the Thanksgiving holiday and remember the purpose of our gathering. For me, it was also a great way to develop a better cultural understanding of the holiday and share the experience with family. 

As the Thansgiving family gathering wraps up, every year we conclude with a family photograph as a momento of the annual event. Shortly afterwards, family members begin their journey back home, embracing each other one last time, and saying “see you next year!” I felt so great being there with my family. We had a lot of fun and laughed so much. I felt strongly connect to each of my family members. It’s so nice to have a place to call “home”. I love my family!