Memorable Monday

Today I am going to share my own experience with family storytelling. My parents, my boyfriend and I had a good time together during which we practiced commitment. As we shared our family stories, we talked about being able to makeour own choices and state our own opinions. We allowed each other to be ourselves, and we found it easy to be honest with each other.

I started by asking my family members a question about who in the family has been the biggest influence on their livesand what lessons did those individuals teach them? My father started by telling me a lot of stories about how his father educated him when he was my age compared with how he educated me when I was growing up. We also talked about the cultural differences in parenting styles and the influences on young adults and middle-age adults. We shared a lot of great stories and memories.

My father said they were not allowed to go against their parents when he was a child. He had to do whatever his fathertold him to do. My grandfather grew up as the top student in his class. He believed my father had to study at least ten hours a day to become a professor and work at the university. My father told my grandfather he wanted to become a diplomat,but my grandfather did not allow my father to make his own choice. The most common parenting style in China might be described as authoritarian, especially from a Western perspective. Some Americans might perceive it as controlling or restrictive, and from my reading of the research literature, I have learned that children of authoritarian parents can have lower self-esteem, be less self-reliant, and have poorer social skills. On the other hand, these same children are highlyresponsible and have a strong sense of obligation to theirfamilies. My father certainly felt responsible for his family and as a result, became a professor as his father wanted.

I shared what I had learned about American parenting with my parents. My boyfriend and I told my father that manyAmerican parents strive to use an authoritative style which generally seeks mature behavior from their children, using a warmer manner that incorporates a give-and-take andexplanations for why rules should be followed, as well asrespect for children’s viewpoints. According to the research I’ve read, their children have higher self-esteem, are moreself-reliant, and have good social skills. My boyfriend shared a story about how his parents encouraged him to become a great person, not just a teacher or a doctor, because his parents trusted he could make his own decisions. I told my father that’s why I was glad he supported me to come here to studybecause he provided me with a great opportunity to see the world. He is the biggest influence on my life. During our time together, we shared a lot stories and opinions, but did not judge or criticize each other.

Family storytelling is important in my family! It has kept us close as a family. We respect the roles each of us plays in the family, and we also allow each other to have our own opinions and make our own choices. I hope you had a great time telling stories with your family! I know I did.