Tuesday

This is the last week of my eight-week project. I can hardly believe it! The time has flown by. Though I hope to continue blogging after this week as a way to encourage emerging adults to practice family rituals, I won’t be posting on a daily basis. Also, I want to spend this week wrapping up my experiences. So today, instead of posting a new ritual for Try It Tuesday, I am going to share some of my thoughts about the rituals I posted every Tuesday over the last few weeks.

During the second week of my blog, I posted the first Try-It Tuesday family ritual. I encouraged readers to host a familydinner to strengthen enjoyable time together. In the comments, a lot of my readers talked about inviting their family members or friends to have dinner with them. They emphasized the good conversation that took place over these dinners. Some of them used the conversation starters I provided and indicated the starters helped prevent awkward silences during the meal. Others used their own conversation starters by talking about movies they had seen recently.

Based on their comments, I think all of them enjoyed the time spent with their families. One reader’s comment pointedout that the family dinner was a chance for her family to connect and catch up especially because she is hardly at home now. Another reader shared how the family dinner helped her put her busy life on hold and realize what is most important to her. I think I will continue to recommend this ritual to emerging adults and their families. Family meals are a wonderful opportunity time for family members to sit and talk, distraction free. And initiating these family dinners helps emerging adults and their parents view each other differently.

The second Try It Tuesday focused on sending Love Notesto family members as a way to enhance appreciation and affection. This is the ritual I loved the most! Some readerswrote to their parents and friends. Others wrote to theirchildren, grandparents and spouses. It was so sweet to read their comments. One reader used texts and similar applications for fun quick messages. Another reader sent the notes over email. Most of them mailed home love letters for each one of their family members. One reader expressed to each of her children how proud she was of all their accomplishments and how thankful she was for making herjob so easy. Another comment expressed how thankful she was to have someone there to support her and send her in the right direction when she was stuck.

This ritual allowed families to demonstrate the appreciationand affection, one of the six characteristics of strong families(DeFrain & Stinnet, 2008). Family members were able to saythey appreciated each other. They were able to show affection to each other, feel close to each other, be kind to each otherand be thoughtful of each other. I definitely will recommend this ritual to emerging adults and their families again. As one reader stated, “I highly recommend that everyone takes the time to let people know how much you care. Don't just assume they know it. Saying it or seeing it, allows them to know for sure.”

In the fourth week of my blog, on Try It Tuesday, I described a specific family game and recommended a family game night as a ritual to enhance effective communication.For me, it was great to read about a lot of new games playedby my readers and their families. I would love to try these games too! I also just liked that so many readers made time to be with their families. One reader said he really enjoyedtelling and hearing jokes and sharing new and old stories withhis family. He also felt that the family game night give him achance to see how the dynamic of his family has changed now that he and his siblings had grown up. Another reader commented on her family members sharing their feelings with each other as they played games together. She tells her mother and sister everything because they are her best friends.

This ritual helped family members practice effective communication. Like one reader said, “We like to talk to each other, and listening and respecting each other’s points of view just seems normal for us. We don’t always agree on everything but it’s easy for us to talk openly with one another and eventually resolve whatever issue there may be between us.” I will highly recommend this ritual to emerging adults and their families. Family games are a great chance for all family members to see everyone, and I encourage emerging adults to even consider planning a family game weekend or vacation where they can hang out and spend more time together and talk outside of the house.

Family storytelling was the ritual posted on Try It Tuesday during the fifth week of my blog. This ritual surprised me the most! As my readers talked about sharing stories with their family members, some of them said they spent a lot of time laughing. Others cried tears of joy. Some cried out of the sadness they felt as they told some of their stories. Regardless of their emotional responses, they all seemed to have a great experience with family storytelling. One reader shared that family storytelling was awesome for hearing stories from before they were even born! She indicated she hoped to hear more stories because the ritual made her feel closer to her family. Remembering her grandparents in this way made her happy.

Family storytelling helped emerging adults and their families build commitment. The ritual allowed family members to be themselves and to respect the roles each of them plays in the family. I will recommend this ritual to emerging adults and their families because family stories provide our lives with meaning. Having a special time to share these stories is important. One reader said, “I felt ‘built up’ in a way after our night. I felt rooted and confident, kind of recharged in a way.” I think our past memories and the times we spend together as a family remind us of the importance of family.

During week six, I posted a family ritual that involved taking or finding photos of meaningful spaces and then sharing those with their family members. My readers identified several meaningful places, and I enjoyed reading the words they used to describe how they felt about those places: safe, warm, connected with family, calm, peaceful, and inspired. One reader talked about his loft on the top floor making him feel the same sense of comfort he always felt in the presence of his family when they shared their lives on a daily basis. This reader indicated his home felt like a sanctuary to him because in this space, he could be himself and unwind from his day and just relax. Another reader commented that her faith is the most important aspect of her family members’ lives. She indicated that her family’s sanctuary really is the sanctuary at the church her family attends.

This ritual helped emerging adults and their family members enhance their spiritual well-being. Seeing their home as a sanctuary, feeling a sense of belonging, and having a hopeful attitude toward life were three of the qualities of spiritual well-being addressed by this ritual. Finding it is easy to share spiritual values and beliefs with each other and having compatible personal religious beliefs were two others. I will recommend this ritual because those important spaces in our lives will continue to hold special places in our hearts.Helping our family members better understand these spaces can make us worry less and cope better than we might otherwise.

Last week, the seventh week of my blog and the last of the six rituals I posted included keeping a family journal to share stressors with family members. Some readers who started family journals thought it was easier to communicate by writing because they could express their true feelings with no arguments. They also indicated their family members were more understanding. One reader pointed out that writing down their feelings and thoughts had been extremely effective for relieving their stress until they felt able to talk about it with a family member in person. One reader felt that this journal had really helped them realize that there are much more effective ways to deal with stressors in the family than the ways they had been using in the past. Another reader shared that one way his family effectively coped with the issues they discussed was to constantly reinforce the positives of the situation. When someone had trouble finding the positives, the rest of them helped out.

I think keeping a family journal can help family members enhance their effective management of stress and crisis.Emerging adults and their families can work together to solve very difficult family problems, face daily issues confidently, and support each other. They also can more clearly see how a crisis can help make their relationships stronger. I will continue to recommend this ritual to emerging adults and their families because the family journal really allowed participants to express what they were feeling to one other and to help each other cope with those feelings.

If any of these rituals pique your interest and you haven’t tried them yet, I hope you will go back to a previous Try It Tuesday and try one of the six rituals posted in this blog. If you do, don’t forget to comment on your experiences. I’d also love to hear about any of your suggestions for helping emerging adults build the six characteristics of strong families within their families.

Much of the rest of the week will proceed as usual. Tomorrow is Wisdom Wednesday so I will provide additional resources related to family rituals. On A Thousand Word Thursday, I will share another photo capturing a family ritual, and on Q&A Friday, I will post another question and answer of my own. On Saturday, I will post my last Weekend Wonder for your enjoyment.

Although this project is coming to an end, I hope to continue blogging in the future. I will update this blog once I have more experiences with family rituals to share. Also, I hope everybody reading this continues to practice the family rituals I have provided. I’ll be back tomorrow with another resource. Until then, thank you so much for your participation in this project!