This week, the ritual I want you to try with your family is a family game night. It is intended to enhance effective communication (DeFrain & Stinnett, 2008). Family game night is a great alternative to watching a movie together. You can make family game night a time for sharing your feelings, listening to each other, participating in family discussions, telling family stories and sharing jokes.
This week, invite your family members to a family game night. You can call or email or text! It may be difficult to find a good time that works for everyone, but do what you can. You also need to suggest a location. For example, you might invite your parents to your place or have the game night at your family’s house. Prepare to provide some snacks, food and drinks simple enough to have while shouting, talking, gesturing, holding cards or otherwise engaging in game play. If you live far away from you family members, don’t be discouraged. Having family game night in person may be hard but you can still use Skype or FaceTime to be together for a game. However you decide to approach the game night itself, the most important thing is to make it happen!
Family game night can focus on a single game all of you like or a few games all of you are willing to try. You can even make up your own games! In this post, I’m going to give you a new game to try that was specifically designed for emerging adults to play with their families in order to enhance effective communication. Specifically, it is intended to help family members learn how to listen to each other and give each other a chance to explain themselves.
In advance, prepare a set of 10-15 road signs for the family. Road signs might include any of the following: stop, yield, red light, yellow light, green light, flashing, one way, do not enter, exit, road closed, speed limit, intersection, u-turn, or road narrows. You can find some printable road signs here:
http://www.trafficsign.us/
Before you get started, make sure you and your family members have an understanding of what each road sign does.
Before you get started, make sure you and your family members have an understanding of what each road sign does.
Throughout the activity, encourage your family members to express their opinions and to have fun. If you haven’t already, tell them you want to a play a game that focuses on communication using road signs. You might even make family road trips the theme for your family game night. If you took long road trips as a kid, what snacks did you always have to have in the car? Are there photos you could print to help spark your memories of family road trips?
Once you’re ready to get started, ask your family members to imagine their communication in the family as a road way. The following script might be helpful for getting your family started:
“Road signs tell us how to behave on the road. Sometimes we have to completely stop. Sometimes we have to yield. Communication in a family has rules too. Some of these rules make communication more clear. Sometimes we know the rules, but we don’t always follow them. A green light for communication might mean we can talk unencumbered; a stop sign might mean we don’t want to talk at all. Today, we’re going to get a chance to talk about the communication we’ve observed within our family, the road signs we know are there but don’t always follow. I’ve printed several road signs for us to use. In this game, we will each choose the road sign that best characterizes how we communicate with each of our other family members.”
You and your family might want to think about these two questions before you begin to choose your road signs: 1) What signs do you think your family uses most often when communicating with each other? 2) Are the signs you use different for some family members than for others?
You can decide as a family who will go first. Remember, avoid using sarcasm and do not put each other down. Relax and have fun! You might try to guess the road signs a family member will choose before he or she reveals their choices. Make sure you give each other a chance to explain yourself and don’t forget to listen!
As emerging adults in contemporary society, it can be hard to find the time to pay attention and listen to your family members. This game gives you the chance to listen and pay attention to each other’s explanations without being distracted. These are important qualities of effective communication.
Whether you play the game I’ve described here or you play your own favorite games at your family game night, I hope you’ll share your experience here. Tell us who you invited to your family game night and why, where you played your games, what games you played, and how the night went. Which qualities of effective communication were present as you played? Of course, I would love to hear how the road sign game went if you played it! How well did it work for your family? Do you think you’ll play it again? Why or why not? Do you think you will you have another family game night again soon? Why or why not? I look forward to reading your opinions soon!
For family game night, my immediate family was able to get together this past Friday at my folk’s house in Parma. This was a pretty rare occasion considering our school and work schedules, but it happened and I’m pretty grateful for the experience. My immediate family consists of my Mom and Dad, as well as my younger brother and sister who are 20 and 25 respectively. For game night, my family decided to play the National Hockey League Edition of Monopoly. Whenever we are together we usually play a lot of games at our house, especially Monopoly, so we have a lot of different versions of it. I don’t mean to brag, and I’m not sure it is bragging since most people will probably question the need for so many versions, but our Monopoly collection includes versions of the Pittsburgh Steelers, the Pittsburgh Penguins, the New York Rangers, the National Football League, the Official Lionel Trains Edition, Pokémon, the 50th Anniversary Edition, and three regular versions of the game. We might have a problem.
ReplyDeleteSo, we took the road sign idea and decided to incorporate it into our game night in our own devious way. Because if there’s one thing that anyone should know about us, it’s that we all enjoy any rule changes that allow us to set our opponents back from achieving their goal. We each selected a few basic road signs as well as traffic lights and printed off five of each of them, making sure that they were small enough to fit on Monopoly cards. We then taped them to the text side of one of the extra sets of community chest and chance cards we had in a regular version of Monopoly. Then, instead of randomly shuffling them into the decks on the board, we dealt them to each of us and we all started the game with a “hand” of cards. At any time a player could play one of their cards on another player and that card would take effect. Most of the cards were pretty self-explanatory but some were a little bit more complicated. For example, if I rolled a 9 and my sister played a “red light” card then I had to stay where I was for that turn, without moving, unless I had a “green light” card. In that case I could proceed, provided no one else threw a “red light” card down on the board to hinder my progress again. If someone had, I would not be able to have blocked it because you are only allowed to play one card from your hand per turn. That is just one example of play and the rules of the cards are at the bottom of the page.
Things got pretty heated and it was really funny how some of the cards were played on certain people at different times. Throughout most of the game my Dad and I were an alliance, as were my Mom, sister and brother. The entire game, my brother and I were doing everything we could to hinder each other’s progress. By the end of the game however, my Dad had betrayed me, which might be putting it a bit dramatically, but I wound up siding with my brother until we had to face off for control of the board. Personally, I thought that the night was great. We all had a chance to catch up on everyone’s lives and it was so much better than trying to hurriedly talk on a phone or impersonally text one another about what’s been going on during the day. I think that spending time together doing simple activities like playing board games and tinkering with stuff in the garage with my Dad are some of the things that I really miss about being home. I really enjoy telling and hearing jokes and sharing new and old stories with family. It’s really interesting to hear the stories and see how the dynamic has changed so much now that all of us have grown up. We like to talk to each other and listening and respecting each other’s point of view just seems normal for us. We don’t always agree on everything but it’s easy for us to talk openly with one another and eventually resolve whatever issue there may be between us.
That night we talked about the numerous road trips that we took as kids, when I was playing hockey, and how many different places we got to see. It’s just funny to think about most of that stuff now. Our family is not the kind of family to put one another down, so it’s funny that my brother always brings up the time that he insisted that Dr. Pepper cured his carsickness. Less than thirty seconds after he made that claim, we got in the van to drive back home from Wayne Gretzky’s Restaurant in Ontario, we had to pull over to clean it out since he got sick in it. He also has a running list that is over 30 cities long, across the U.S. and Canada, of the places where he either threw up in the van or at the ice rink. It probably wasn’t funny for him then and I know my parents weren’t laughing at the time, but it sure is funny looking back at it now. Even without this assignment I probably would have played a game with my family, and we probably would have shared some of these stories, but I probably wouldn’t have taken the time to reflect on them to this extent and that’s pretty special.
ReplyDeleteCards- When you pass go you collect your money and pick up one card. If no one has played a card when you pass go, you do not get a card.
Yield- Move half the distance you rolled
Stop- Go To Jail
U-Turn- Go back half the distance you rolled
Green- move double the distance the rolled/ move the distance you rolled if someone stopped you
Yellow- move half the distance rolled
Red- do not move this turn
Construction Ahead- Move to closest Monopoly/ If there isn’t one, move to free parking
Do Not Enter- Do Not Pass Go- you have to stop on Boardwalk and wait until next turn to roll again in order to pass Go.
Railroad Crossing- Move to nearest Railroad
I like to read your story. Hope you have fun play family game with your family members!
DeleteGetting my family together for a family game night was quite a task. My immediate family consists of my mother, my older sister, and myself. All three of us have jobs and we are all students as well; basically we always have busy schedules. I am a student majoring in Human Development & Family Studies at Kent State University in Kent, Ohio. My mother and sister are both in graduate programs that require a lot of reading and studying. I asked my mother and sister if we could meet up for some family bonding time soon. I suggested a family game night and they were both on board. Finding a time that would work for all of us was the hardest part. After much bickering about the time and location, we finally found a time that would work for everyone. I went over my mother’s house after work on a Sunday to meet up with the family. My mother used the game night as a reason to cook a nice meal for us as well. We ate roast beef and potatoes for dinner and then proceeded to pick a game to play. We didn’t have that many choices because my mother got rid of all of the board games when my sister and I went to college. The only games we did have were Taboo, Monopoly, and Uno Attack. We all mutually decided that we didn’t want to play Taboo because of a past incident. We also knew that Monopoly is an impossible game to finish, so Uno Attack was the obvious choice.
ReplyDeleteMy family and I (dogs included) sprawled out on the living room floor and played Uno Attack for about a good two hours. I haven’t had such a good time with my family in a long time. We usually go eating or shopping together, activities that sometimes don’t involve much conversation. Playing a game together really got us talking to each other for once. Some things we talked about included current events in our lives, new things we learned in class, drama with the neighbors, and hopes for the year ahead. I noticed a few of the qualities of effective communication being displayed during my family game night. My family likes sharing feelings with each other; I tell my mother and sister everything because they are my best friends. My family shares jokes together (I was in tears listening to my mom’s story about our crazy neighbor!) We also listen to each other and we respect each other’s point of view. I would say that overall my family communicates very well.
My sister and I got a little competitive with each other during the game (typical behavior of us.) Uno Attack is a version of Uno that includes a machine that spits out cards at you when you have to push the Uno button. Something about the cards being ejected into your face makes you even more spiteful towards the person that put down the “draw four” card. We both really wanted to win so we played what seemed like an endless round of Uno. The only reason we stopped playing is because my mom was getting tired and had to work in the morning. We all had a great time spending time together doing an activity other than eating. We decided that we should have a family game night more often. My mom said that she would look into buying more board games for the future. My sister suggested that we all go out and play pool; I think that will be our next family activity together.
-Shelby Waterford
I am happy you make it happen! it's always great to spend time and have conversations with family. Hope to hear your experience of your next family activity!
DeleteThis past weekend, I was able to enjoy a nice evening with my immediate family. Since leaving for college in the fall, I have not been able to see my family as much as I used to. I am a freshman at Kent State, and I’m majoring in Speech Pathology and Audiology. It was nice to go home for the weekend and spend quality time with those I love most.
ReplyDeleteI live with my mom, brother, and grandma, and everyone was home that night, so we all got to play together! We started off the evening by enjoying a home-cooked meal prepared by my grandma. One of the best things about coming home is eating home-cooked meals. The first game of the night was Yahtzee. It's a family favorite, and we've played it many times before. We are all very competitive, so the house was not quiet. We played a total of six games, and everyone won two games each. It was nice that everyone got along, and there was no fighting or arguing. My 12 year old brother and I bicker all of the time, and we actually got along for a few hours.
My mom and grandma get on each other's nerves, as well. They even got along during the games, too.
After playing Yahtzee, we still wanted to play more games. Farkle was next on the list. My mom got me this game for Christmas. We've only played it once before, so we had to read over the directions again to make sure everyone knew how to play. We ended up playing two games and my mom won both. After that, we were tired from all of the gaming, so we ended the evening by watching a movie together. It’s amazing how we all got along, and no one argued with each other the whole time. I hope that we continue to have more family game nights in the future because I feel like it really brings us closer as a family.
-Ashley Ferguson
Sure, hope you continue to have more family game nights in the future, enjoy!
DeleteMy family and I used to have game nights a lot when I was younger, but as I got into high school and became busier, game nights came to an end. So I think my family was really surprised when I mentioned I wanted to spend my Saturday night playing cards like we used to. I invited my mother, my father, and my grandmother over to my house to play cards. My grandfather came too, but did not choose to play. He is not a big game person, but it was nice to have him there anyways. We chose my house since I already live with my parents and my grandmother lives right down the road.
ReplyDeleteWe chose to play euchre first, since that has always been everyone's favorite game. It was fun and as always, competitive. We played two rounds of cards and my mother and grandmothers team won both times. That led to a little harmless bragging. After playing these couple hands, everyone decided they were hungry, so family game night go to turn into family dinner. It was really nice to have a meal together, even though it was just a pizza, since usually very difficult to get everyone's schedules to match up.
After dinner, everyone decided that they wanted to play some more cards games. So we played a couple rounds of UNO and a round of Phase 10. These are games we always played, especially my grandmother and I. So of course her and I dominated in both games and left my mother and father behind. My poor father did not win a game all night!
I have decided that when I go home from college again, I am going to continue to try and get the family together for game night. It was a great chance for me to see everyone for a while on my visit home and I think it helped all of us feel close, even though we are not always together.
-Haille O'Neal
I like to read your story about your family game ritual. I like these old cards games. UNO is fun too!
DeleteFor my family game night, My huge family, which consists of my grandmother, grandfather, mom, little sister, four aunts, and six cousins, gathered together at my grandparents home to have dinner, which we do every other Friday, and play a game called "HedBanz." The game consists of ten players, in which there was thirteen of us(all ages), where we all had to wear a plastic band around our heads with a card that had a picture. Each individual had to guess the card that someone else described to them. This game was a task since there wasn't enough people to describe what was on our heads, so we thought of a great idea to form a circle in the living room and describe each others cards to our right. We've played several games together, but this was the best game we ever chose to play because everyone played, we had a great time playing, and everyone was happy. Being in a big family isn't always the easiest task to get everyone to play the same game, but I took a chance on buying this game and hoping everyone would at least try it to see if they liked it. One of my Aunts also bought a game called "Taboo" but everyone didn't like it, so we made other options. My prayers were successful, and I'm sure everyone will love to play anytime in the future. As far as getting the family together, I'm happy to say that it's never an issue because we're always together. I would describe my family as being the Jefferson family because there is a lot of us with different personalities, and we're loud, but together, we all have an exact personality based on wanting togetherness every time we can...Which is usually every weekend. I wouldn't replace my family for the world.
ReplyDelete-Ebony Williams
WoW :) What a big family! the HedBans game sounds fun! I have to try next time! Great idea!
DeleteI used the perfect opportunity when a few of our friends were coming in town to schedule a friends game night since I live out of town from my immediate family. Game night included myself, boyfriend, Reuhul, and Priyia. I prepared snacks incorporating each members favorite snack; mine was brie with fruit and crackers, BBQ meatballs for my boyfriend, tacos for Rauhul, and chips and salsa. Although there was no specific theme to the game night I still sent text messages to all attending and requesting them to be ready to play an assortment of games.
ReplyDeleteOnce they arrived I told them the rules:
*no put downs
*using the road signs appropriately
*taking turns
*each game would last at least an hour (this could be negotiable)
I told each person that they could pick out a game and that we would play paper rock scissors for who's game could be played first.
I won and I chose to play eucher. We played multiple games of swithching partners each time and my boyfriend seemed to be the winner no matter who his partner was. We decided that we would share our favorite childhood memory during the games.
Next was Rauhul's game he chose catch phrase. After each game we shared a memory that took place in middle school. Most of our stories involved an experience during our eighth grade trip.
Priyia's turn which was gold fish and again after each game we shared our favorite memory during high school.
Tony was up next he decided to play poker. And to follow suit, at the end of each game we shared our favorite story during college. We again had a theme and shared a humerous dorm room story.
This game night allowed us to come together and share experiences that we would never have known without being forced to sit down and listen to one another. This was a great idea and thanks for the suggestion.
Than you for sharing . Hope you enjoy your family game night. It always great to be with family!
DeleteHello! My family and I tried your family game night ritual a few nights ago. It's the first time in a LONG time that we had a family game night together. When I was younger, my mom, dad, brother and I would have a family game night every so often. Now that we are all older, we rarely have one anymore -- and we seemed to have forgotten how much fun it can be! I am in college but I happened to be home this past weekend. My brother, who is 23, lives with my parents so he played with us. We decided to have family game night that Friday around 7 because it would be about an hour after dinner and because my brother still wanted to go out afterwards. So after we ate, my parents, brother and I picked a game. Since it is closest to my dad’s birthday, he got to choose the game (one of our rituals). He chose The Game of Life, which is a family favorite. I ended up having the most money at the end, but all I really cared about was communicating and connecting with my family. We chatted through out the entire game and had a lot of good laughs. I think we tend to let our lives get too busy and we forget to just kick back and relax with our loved ones. It was nice taking a break from school to come home and have some real family bonding time.
ReplyDeleteAllison Heinz
My family and I had a family movie and game night this past Friday night! Since leaving for college we really haven't been able to spend as much time with each other because of the distance, and studying all the time.
ReplyDeleteWe had a family night for the first time in years it feels like. We first went out to dinner to one of our favorite places, Texas Roadhouse, which was nice. It was fun talking to my mom, dad, and two sisters. Then we went home and played Uno Attack about 9 times! We have always loved uno and I have played with my family ever since I was little, but uno attack where the cards shoot out at you makes it a lot more fun and makes things even more loud and crazy, but in a good way! Then we went on to play a game called Guesstures. You have two teams and one person gets a card and they act it out, or if the object on the card is around they can run in grab it and their team has to guess what it is! It's kind of like charades but a lot more fun and entertaining!
Then we ended the night watching Pitch Perfect and eating popcorn!
It was such a great night to be able to spend time with them and have so much fun while I was home! It made me sad to leave but I know from now on we will have a lot more great nights like this!
Kristen Urbanik
I like to play UNO too!!!
DeleteMy family and I had our game night last night. I live with my grandparents so I decided to hold it at their house since they have a lot of games and my other family members live really close to my grandparents. My grandma, grandpa, dad, little sister, aunt, uncle, and my three little cousins came over. When they got there we ordered pizza and enjoyed just sitting around the table talking to each other since we don't get to it that often.
ReplyDeleteOnce we were done eating, I helped my grandpa clean up the kitchen while listening to my uncle's bluegrass band. So there was a little dancing going on. After the dishes, the whole family sat around the kitchen table to start playing games. We played catch phrase, uno, life, and spoons. Spoons was probably the most intense game of the night. The night went very well and we communicated very well. We didn't interrupt each other, we used eye contact, and we all participated. We laughed until our chests hurt. It was so much fun just being with the closest people in my life. I would definitely love to have another family night soon. I normally have family nights all the time but we don't always play games. We sometimes will watch movies, go shopping, etc.
Sounds like you had a great time with your family! Enjoy!
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