“Emerging adulthood” is a term coined by Arnett (2000) to identify the time between the ages of 18 and 25 years. I first heard this term in Dr. Kelly Cichy’s Lifespan Development class at Kent State University where I am working on my master’s degree in Human Development and Family Studies. According to Arnett, this is a distinct stage of young people’s development in the industrialized world. In the past, these young adults were quick to leave home for marriage or work, ushering them directly into the roles of adulthood. However, adults in this age group now tend to leave home later and often return to the parental house when their relationships do not work out well or when they cannot afford to live independently. 

The proportion of young adults living in their parents’ home has increased. Family related transitions to adulthood have fluctuated and transformed over time, especially with respect to leaving the parental home. In 1960, 77 % of women and 65 % of men had completed school, left home, become financially independent, married and had a child by the time they reached 30 (Henig, 2010). However, in 2012 only 50% of the women and 30% of the men had done so (United States Census Bureau, 2012). According to Arnett, individuals in emerging adulthood no longer take on the whole responsibility of independent living; by delaying some of the traditional accomplishments of adulthood, they give themselves (with help from their parents) the freedom to examine their life possibilities.

After learning about some of the characteristics of emerging adulthood, I began observing them in my American and Chinese peers. Some of my friends changed their jobs frequently. They told me “It’s so hard to stay in one job!” They don’t want to spend their whole lives doing only one thing. They want to try different jobs. Some friends went back to school to get a higher education, thinking the advanced degree might help them find better jobs and extend their social networks. Some friends still live with their parents or move out and back again several times, because they think they are not independent enough to handle their lives. They still need support from their parents, financially and emotionally. Some friends even question themselves. “Who am I? What should I really believe?” They are trying to understand their own personal beliefs and values.

Most young people in emerging adulthood feel like neither adolescents nor adults, but somewhere in between. Arnett (1998) found that when asked whether they feel they have reached adulthood, most people in the 18 to 25 age range responded neither “yes” nor “no” but “in some ways yes, in some ways no”. And some of us would like to think we will never grow up! But financial and residential dependence in emerging adulthood creates challenges in the parent-child relationship. Parents may need to modify their parenting practices, but emerging adults also have a role to play in encouraging positive family relationships. To help manage this progression to adulthood, emerging adults themselves should actively promote and strengthen their family ties. Personally, at age 25, when I quit my job to return to school 7000 miles away, I knew I had to work harder to maintain the gains we made when we cooked dumplings together every Friday. So I continued having family dinner with my parents long distance using Skype. Even now, I continue this family ritual because I know it helps make my family relationships stronger.

What about you? What have you noticed about the relationship you have with your parents as an emerging adult? Share your thoughts in the comments!